I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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