Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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