peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize