she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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