Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
