I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
