Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
