I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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