dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
