Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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