I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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