I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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