90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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