I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
