Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
