Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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