so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
