the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
