I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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