sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
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I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
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You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize