Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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