she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
