If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
