Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
