Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
