waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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