It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
