who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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