Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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