Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Alive.
So much puke
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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