judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
