If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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