11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
