Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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