there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
