Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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