Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
