i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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