Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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