I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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