Operation Purity has been aborted
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
