AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
