My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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