So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
