I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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