Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize