My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
