My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
