it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize