Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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