Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just cropdusted the office
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
