i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
