im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
