She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
