i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
