There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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