Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
