You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
