Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i dont even know how to be here
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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