I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
