I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
